I’ve had so many thoughts going through my head today about what to write about…and as I was driving home, after swapping vehicles with Dave so that I could have a space of silence, all of this came flooding in. I thought about writing about our animals, which we’ll do at some point – because you all need to know the characters in our story, but today….today this is more pressing. At least to me.
You know the saying, the grass isn’t always greener? This morning, I was thinking about that, I looked outside, and it literally is. The grass is greener on the opposite side of our road. Granted, it’s organic dairy pasture land, but it’s greener. Like our “pasture” is brown….very little green, and it’ll likely be that for another few years.
Last year when we bought this property, the majority of the land was covered in pine trees. The kind of pine trees that you eventually log to make posts, which is exactly what we did. It was time for them to go as they were getting old, some were starting to rot, and they just needed to be cut down. Plus, we needed pasture land for our goats. So log it we did. However, if you know anything about pine trees, you know that they are very acidic, and nothing really grows under them. So when we had them cut down, the needles spread, which means very little green growth. Woah, tangent. oops! But there’s some history for you on our property. 😉
Back to the green grass….which basically represents dreams. As I was driving home, in my beautiful silent vehicle, it was almost like my insides were bursting with the potential that is in front of us. I can literally see and feel what the future holds for us. I can envision Dave home, working the land, the kids and I roaming the beautiful lush land with the goats (and sheep and cows and pigs…who knows what’s to come!), so much joy and peace and simplicity. I can not only envision it. I can FEEL it! And as I was driving, I got frustrated that we aren’t yet there.
For 10ish years, we’ve had this dream of a homestead. And while it’s grown and changed (a bit) over time, where I can see more and more of that life, it’s always the dream that’s a little further down the road than we currently are, and I become dissatisfied with our current situation. And that’s where I was again. Dissatisfied. Which isn’t a very nice thing to swallow…especially when I’ve heard all of the podcasts about living in the here and now and finding contentment (to an extent) with the present.
So because I knew that I have been wallowing, I turned on a podcast. What I turned to was our good friend Matt Kendziera’s new podcast “Jesus Never Ran“. There was a new one that he just released, so I started it. It was PERFECT. (Listen to it here) Nearing the end, Kathy and Matt’s words hit me hard. “Things take time. Dreams take time. Healing and restoration takes time.”
I don’t do “take time” very well. (And of course right after that I found the PERFECT property – like….in my dreams sort of house and land – for a very reasonable price…hmmm…) But it was a great reminder that while the grass is literally greener across the street- and on the property that now my soul flutters for- it’s the process of us growing together and of creating the life that we truly know that God has put on our hearts that really matters. Because during the process of growing and creating we go through the fires of life, and these fires ultimately refine us into people that hopefully become more and more like our creator. And THAT is what life is really about. Right?
PS. Liederstedt Farm – that’s the name of our homestead. It’s a name Dave made up meaning “The Singing Place”. Sound familiar? (probably should do a post about that too…huh??? 🙂 )